Here is is baby. Round three of these Mother’s Day letters that I promised to write every year since you were bouncing around in my belly. If I’m honest with you my little love I almost forgot about it this year with everything going on. And then if I’m really honest, when I remembered I was dreading it…
You see sweetie I was s badly for these letters to be an inspiration to you. Something that when I’m dead and gone you’ll cherish for always. Well look at that, I’ve turned into your Grandma Ali. She always used to say that to me about this and that and it would drive me nuts. As people we never want to believe that our mommies aren’t going to be there someday. And don’t worry baby I’m gonna last you a hundred million years. But that’s a whole different topic for a different day. Back to my point about inspiration. When I came up with the idea for these letters I wanted them to be a reflection of the triumphant year that we had braved through together. Smiles and skittles and rainbows. And don’t get me wrong baby, there has been all that. Your crazy little smile gets me through shit that I really don’t know that anyone, even your tough ass mama, could get through without seeing it. And your belly giggle is everything. When I tickle you until you get cranky because you can’t stand it anymore and tell me “Mommy stchtaaaaaaaapppp“. Perfection.
Its little little things boo-bee. Always remember that.
I wish I could bottle your sunshine and drink it into my soul during the times where I feel like I’m crumbling. Which unfortunately has been more often than anyone with such an amazing human as you in her life should have. But my love mommy is just that.
Human.
My sweet sweet boy I truly hope someday you can understand someday why mommy is always tired. Why she gets frustrated more often than most mommies. Why you sometimes have dinners of mac n cheese and strawberries. Why mommy is always working, staring at her phone or pecking away at the computer. I promise with everything that I am that it’s not because there is something or someone more important than you. Someday when your old enough to understand I pray you scoff at that idea because you’ll know with ever fiber in your being that you are mommy’s EVERYTHING. And I would give it all up for you if you asked me to.
But there’s one thought from today that keeps spinning in my head. It was Mother’s Day and Mommy was supposed to be happy, but she was sad. And none of that was your fault. Even though its me and you against the world Mommy can get lonely at times. And baby (insert painful gulp here)…
I’m so sorry I let you see me cry.
People say that boys alway love and look after their mothers. Looks like that story is already true for you. At first sight of the waterworks rolling down my cheek you came over and caressed my back in the sweetest, warmest way possible and wiped away my tears. Thank you sweet boy. But Mommy promises try and not do that again.
It really pains me even to write this down because I want to shield you from any kind of memories that aren’t cheerful ones. Call it me trying to lessen my mom guilt but I’m thinking there could be a powerful lesson for you in the future here. Hopefully one that teaches you to always be strong. To always preserver through hope and love and that fight I’ve seen in you since day one. You are so much like your mom its hurts.
I hope reading this someday you’ll feel the inspiration I’m trying to give and know that not matter what, its in your blood to never give up. A really good friend of mine used to say to me when I was scared or insecure “YOUR RILEY MOTHER FUCKING COUTURE”. And like clockwork I would snap out of it and go do that damn thing. I still scream that to myself in my head when Im doubtful. I may even say it you you someday on the sidelines of some game or ahead of some competition. But hopefully I’ll use less choice words. Ya never know with your mother.
So here is the point in my letter where I usually get off my Wah-Wah Wagon and tell you my hopes and dreams and the things I love about your sassy little self.
Well let’s see….
I love when you get frustrated with my and say “uuuuuugh fine”
I love when its time for bed and you say “Mommy two minutes”
I love that you think farts and burps are funny already. Such a boy.
I love that your’e obssesed with “ahh-ca-dos”
I love that you love to dance but only when no one’s watching.
I love that you do nothing on command. That is unless mommy bribes you with fruit snacks.
I love that your always going around saying “Mommy fix it” and then you turn around and try and do it yourself. My little problem solver.
I love that you hate having your hands dirty and want mommy to put everything back. My little neat freak. (sure as hell didn’t get that from me).
I love your incredible curly crazy hair. Even if you hate mommy during bath time.
I love that not one airplane, truck, car or bus, goes by without you pointing it out.
I love that your friendly but people gotta work for your effection.
Your eyes are do die for. Your little bum is the cutest I’ve ever seen. I still wanna naw on your fingers and toes even though you hate it. Your voice…sweet and soft as a lullaby.
But the thing I’m most crazy about my angel is your spirit. Fierce and fancy free all at the same time. Determined and gentle. Smart and oh so silly. My world revolves around you angel. The sun rises and sets with you. Every single breath I take is for you.
As always baby mommy loves you to the moon and back again. My arms are forever and always yours. And just one more thing my little love bug, always remember that together #WEGOTTHIS.
As I sit here reading the letter that I wrote to you last year, on my very first Mother’s day my fingers are almost at a stand still. I promised myself and you that every year around this time I would write you a letter reflecting on our time together in the last 12 months. And for some reason in this moment I’m scared to write. Perhaps it’s because I’m afraid that I won’t be as poetic as last year, or that I wont have as many beautifully put together notions to share. I guess its that I’m terrified of disappointing you. But if there’s a lesson that I can teach you in all of this, its that true disappointment lies in never trying. So Mommy’s gonna get it together and share my thoughts on the last year with you my love.
I won’t go into the gory details of why I cried myself to sleep many nights after you were tucked safely in your bed listening to your sound machine. Sucking on your binky and snuggling with your little elephant blankie that a listener sent you while I was pregnant. I do however I want you to know that throughout this year there were actually more times that I needed you than you needed me.
Your smile was my strength. Your laugh was my hope. Your existence was my existence.
You see my little man, I always vowed that motherhood wasn’t going to turn me into something I wasn’t. It wasn’t going to change me. I fought that idea like someone running from the plague. But I realized that had I not morphed into a different person when I gave birth to you I would have given up. On life, my drive, on love and everything that I held dear to me. When my world came crashing down and continued to do so for a long time after you were brought into this world I wanted to just quit. But I knew giving up on me was giving up on you. Giving up on us is just not an option.
Someday when your old enough to understand I will tell you all that mommy had to do to get us to this place. But for now angel just know that it was ALL FOR YOU.
This year has been exactly like what they say about time. It flies! Your mommy hates cliche sayings but seriously where did my baby go? You’re not an ushy-gushy little roley-poley crawling around on the floor anymore. Your an independent little bugger that already seems to think he doesn’t need mommy’s hand. Breaks my heart kid but like I said before, I’d like to think you get that independent streak from me.
I remember the day you took your first steps. You were about 13 months and you followed me into the bathroom (as per usual) and stood up, looked at me with a giggle and then…
One step…Wobble
Two Step..Wobble
I then squealed so loud that I scared you and you went down on your bum. I really wish I would have gotten that moment on camera but I was on the pot so there’s that. You didn’t really start taking off until 16 months which Grandma Ali says is just like Mama. She always tells the story of how I never crawled and just scooted around on my butt. She was worried so Grandma took me to the doctors thinking that I had polio or something. The doctors told her nope, shes just lazy and will walk when she’s ready. I dunno about the lazy part but sure enough one day I just got up and took off. On my own time. Just like you baby. Please always do things on your own time. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t walk to the beat of your own drum. That you have to jump when other’s say jump. I never did and I pray you never do either.
Lyric I love hearing your little words now.
“Oooooooh-ooooooooh” – Lyric for Uh-oh
“Mama!” – Your 1st word and music to my ears!
“Dawwwwwwwwwwwg” – Cutest way to say Dog ever!
“Buuuuurrrrr” – Lyic for bird
“Paaaaaayyyyyn”- Lyric for Plane
“Liiiiiiieeeeeeey_ Lyric for light
” Nana” – Oh how you love your nanas in the morning
“PPppppppppppp!” You calling after our puppy Pink… who is jealous and wants nothing to do with you. Hopefully she’ll come around boo.
“Noooo! nooooo!” Your second word and I’m in trouble with that one. I can see it already.
The list could go on and on and right now your most likely going to be reading this saying “Really mom?” But I can’t help it son. I want to remember every second of you as you are today because I only get to do this once with you. One day you won’t let me tackle you and get those chunky thighs. One day you won’t hug onto my leg or reach up for me to hold you. One day you wont lay your little curly haired head on my shoulder as I rock you to sleep. Perhaps these letters are as much for me as they are for you. But I hope you cherish them as much as I cherish you. Let me leave this letter with one thing.
I.LOVE.YOU.SO.MUCH LYRIC.
With all of my heart and with everything I am. To the moon and stars and back again.
I know this post might bring me some backlash, so before you bite me just hear me out.
I know ALL parents have their struggles. Whether you are married or single we all go through our fair amount of shit trying to raise our little ones. But being a single mom with all of the day-to-day responsibilities of keeping Lyric alive and happy on my shoulders, this article hit me right in the feels. Give it a click. Pretty good read.
In the last few months Lyric and I have experienced so many changes with moving, losing nannies, lawyers, dwindling bank accounts, oncoming terrible two’s and blah blah blah.
More than a few times I have been called “negative” by some of the people closest to me. Perhaps I have been a tad more testy than I need to be given that I am SO VERY BLESSED. (I absolutely know how lucky I am) But sometimes I think its ok to recognize when you are doing what some would consider impossible. Because folks sometimes it feels that way. And sometimes my emotions get the better of me and I turn into what best friend in the universe called “The Hulk”. Zero patience and zero filter. Im trying to be better about it but it is excruciatingly isolating to feel like your on the island of Loneliville without anyone but a 17 month old to talk to. Toddlers don’t tend to understand the anxiety and depression that sometimes comes along with being a single parent. Not that I would want ever him to understand…
Don’t get me wrong. Being Lyric’s mommy is the best roller coaster ride I could ever hope to be on. But I’ve never been the mom to create a picture that motherhood is jus a basket of rainbows and skittles.
I’m not going to get into all the whining about dirty diapers and sleepless nights and nonexistent sex life…i’ll just say that momming aint easy.
For some odd reason that saying “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” keeps running through my head. Most of the time that saying would imply that setting has gone wrong, or not the way you expected. You then shrug your shoulders and utter that sentence to reassure yourself that it will be ok. You tell yourself that is just the way the chips fell, or that was the hand you were given.
Been doing a lot of self reflection lately and dissecting the way my life cookie has crumbled over the years. It seems to me though that every time my cookie burst into a million pieces it was for a reason. For some bigger purpose that would later fuel my life. My goals. Shape who I’m going to grow up to be and all that shit.
Like take my broken engagement for example. It was such a painful memory for me that I truly think I blocked out just how many years ago that was. Four? Is it going on five? Shiz I’ve been single that long? I actually used to write about that guy in poetic poem posts on this very blog that he bugged me to start. That he actually created for me originally.
Let me tell you when that cookie crumbled I thought the life I had envisioned for myself was over for good. And in so many ways it was. I spent oh so many days and nights mourning my little stupid princess wedding that never happened. Mourning the me that was starry eyed and un jaded about love. Mourning that beautiful duchess satin dress that never made it down the isle, or my prized engagement ring that now adorns someone else’s finger.
No before you click that X button on the corner to get away from what is seemingly one big fat pity party just bare with me.
That cookie crumbled. BIG time.
But I would like to think that the cookie analogy is much like the hard boiled egg effect.
“The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It’s about what you’re made of, not the circumstances.” —Unknown.
I think I’ve become a hard boiled egg.
Wait WTF? I sound like a looney tune.
Lemme explain. I think that my cookie crumbling turned me into a hard ass. Unbreakable and outwardly unshakeable. But if i’m painstakenly honest, these days I yearn for that googley eyed girl that simply trusted that love was always going to be there. That someday that true head spinning moment when you JUST KNOW would happen. Again with the painstaking honesty…
I’ve never had that. Katy Perry lyrics come to mind.
“I didn’t feel the fairytale feeling, no
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could..
If it’s not like the movies
That’s how it should be, yeah
When he’s the one, I’ll come undone
And my world will stop spinning
And that’s just the beginning, yeah”
Any hoozle-beez.
Ive been thinking about love lately. In the midst of the last six months filled with contracts, and lawyers, and movers, and papers ,and plane rides. OH MY! I’ve been thinking about love. And after so long of being away from it, I’m starting to pray for it again. Because lets face it there aint nuthin like that feeling of true love….perhaps its coming around for me. Maybe for the first time ever. Here’s hoping.
I just got off the phone with my Mom after an hour long conversation of her listening to me go on about my worries, my fears, and all of the things that I can’t deal with in life. She listened, and agreed, and encouraged. I didn’t realize it until after we hung up but she said “I’m so proud of you” at least three times within that conversation. To be hones it almost fell on deaf ears for me. Not that it doesn’t mean the world to me to make my mother proud. I mean shit even when I’m furious at her I still secretly love it when she brags to her friends that her baby is on the radio. A career that I damn well know would never have happened if not for her equal parts believing in me, and in the same breath threatening to kick me out on my ass of I didn’t make something of the daughter that she raised.
I’ve become such a hard well-oiled machine in the last year that whenever someone praises me I often glaze it over in a humble nod or a quick huff because truthfully…
If someone is proud of you then you can also let them down.
But my Mom said it still, three times in one hour. “I’m so proud of you.” Almost as if she wanted me to soak it in, to finally hear it once and for all.
And it did this time Mommy.
You’re not just proud of me for my accomplishments. You’re proud of me for getting knocked on my ass, for getting kicked while on said ass, and then covered with dirt while I was down… and never giving up.
Mom are you surprised? I’m YOUR daughter.
I think back to what I what I remember my mom was at my age. Hell she was even younger than I am now with two kids as a single mom struggling to get by.
Hot dogs and ramen noodles for dinner, coupled with happy times and our first Cabbage Patch dolls. My doll had short curly blonde hair and her name was Thelma. Man was Mom happy to give us those dolls. She had that same beaming giddy-girl grin that she does now when she gives her beloved grandchildren a big present. Only now she doesn’t have to scrap for it.
And why??
BECAUSE SHE’S A BADASS!!!!!!
She’s kinda like that Drake lyric “We started from the bottom and now were here.”
Those words that lately have been impenetrable to my brain are now ringing in my ears…
“I’m proud of you”
The last few years have been really rocky for my Mom and I. But I guess that’s the tale of time for mothers and their children. I have no doubt in my mind that Lyric and I will go through our peaks and valleys…but no matter how much my Mom and I fight, no matter how many times we hang up on each other in anger. Not matter how many times we scream or need to take a break from each other…
MOM, I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud to be your daughter. I love you Mommy.
I’m sitting here listening to this song on repeat. And although I came to love it in a time when all things in my life were seemingly carefree and coming into place, I now understand why my soul had a connection to it. It wasn’t its cool soft beat driven melody. It wasn’t its calming vibe.It was the lyrics that perfectly described the “Waves” of my life. At first hearing this song I was within the beautiful crest of a wave that had the hope of love woven within its waters.
I was free.
I was laughing and kissing and making love. Independent and thriving…The simple pleasures that make a simple yet complicated life were mine. I was swimming the waters of what I had always wanted. Or so I thought.
As I type this my computer keeps stalling. Giving me the loading sing as if to warn me.
Almost as an omen that I shouldn’t be writing this.
But why not though?
For fear of being criticized. For feeling? For being real?
With every word I type closer and closer to the “Wave” that is my life now. One that shouldn’t drown me the way it has.
I am blessed. I am successful. I am overwhelmed.
Mother, friend, mentor, role model.
Fearful. Scattered. Scared.
I am riding this wave without a sturdy footing on my emotional surfboard.
This latest wave has nearly knocked me clear off my feet. I was a ballerina in my younger years so I know how to balance on the most unsteady of surfaces, but how do you dance on a wave?
I have fire red hair-like Ariel but I am not made of mystical Disney fairytales. I’m a human. I’m no mermaid. King Triton will not make this right for me with a flick of his trident.
I know I will navigate this. But these rocky seas have me sickened with the thought of persevering through this. My poetry, be it ever vague is my truth.
I want to achieve like I’ve never achieved before. I want to inspire. I want to give back. I want to be a great mother. I want to be free. I want to fall in love. I want to hope that all of this can be mine.
This wave has me achieving a few of these things but only a few of the upmost importance.
I feel like no two waves of life are the same. You glide upon the beautiful ones and crash upon the destructive ones.
How is it that with OH SO MANY blessings poured into my ocean lately that I am so disheartened?
Why is every triumph met with some level of defeat beyond my control?
I am a wave that’s crashing upon the shore begging for relief.
I pray these storm waters succeed to calmer seas with the coming days.
Today I was explaining to someone my journey over the past year and their response made me stop and realize just what a landslide it’s been for me. After telling them the ups and downs of coming into motherhood, gaining and losing those I thought dear to me, career triumphs and setbacks. All the while still merely trying to keep my head above water, their response was commending and filled with sympathy.
Now trust me I’m not dressing up for any pity parties but their response stopped me and made me reflect on the past year, what I’ve learned about my limits. I often come off as a hard ass. I mean shit I am a hard ass but I’m equal parts stone and mush. I always say that once your in my heart your there forever. AND EVER. No matter what you put me through I cannot hate you once I’ve loved you. That goes for family, friends and lovers alike. Its a flaw of mine as much as it is an attribute.
I need to limit how much I give of myself to those that are undeserving.
One of my best friends says to me all the time “Don’t let people take up space in your head and thoughts if they don’t deserve to be there.” I always over analyze situations and have the need to ask the questions that in the long run I really don’t want the answers to. I want to fix the problems that are unfix-able. I want to always believe there’s a way when sometimes there simply just isn’t. I swear I’ve spent years of my life rehashing things and trying to figure out what fork in the road caused things to go sour. Sometimes shit just is what it is. Beyond anyone’s control.
I need to limit how much energy I invest in trying to repair what is inevitably broken.
As hard as this past year had been, being pushed to my ultimate breaking point by the hands of the ones that I once stood side by side with… I am forever grateful for it. No matter where life has brought us now I am proud of the woman that I see in the mirror. As much as I am hurt and at a loss for words at what life has brought us today, I know I wouldn’t have reached certain peaks in my potential if not for some of the pain. Thank you for pushing me…thank you for breaking me. I have a motivation now that I would not have had before. I have to prove to myself and no one else that I wasn’t what you thought of me. And when the thought of you fades from my mind I’ll still have that drive.
I need to limit how much I concentrate on the acceptance of others and focus of accepting myself.
Reflecting on the past year, I mean hell just the last few months, I am slapped in the face with all of my weaknesses. But in the same token all of my strengths. As much joy as I have in my life I’ve spent a good portion of this past year with tear stained cheeks thanks to people that don’t give me or my well being a second thought. No mas my friends. NO MAS.
I need to limit the sad tears spent on the meaningless and cry the happy tears on the joyous.
The last few years have taken me in directions I could never have hoped for, imagined or even wanted in some regards. But I think that is the reasoning for the biggest lesson in limits that I’ve come to….
I need to limit the toxic things that I tend to hold onto and let go…..just let it go.
I feel like I wanna smack somebody Turn around and bitch slap somebody
But I ain’t goin’ out bro (no, no, no)
I ain’t givin’ into it (no, no, no) Anxieties bash my mind in Terrorizing my soul like Bin Laden
But I ain’t fallin’ down bro (no, no, no)
I won’t lose control bro (no, no, no) Shackle and chained My soul feels stained
I can’t explain got an ich on my brain Lately my whole aim is to maintain And regain control of my mainframe
My bloods boiling its beatin’ out propaine My train of thoughts more like a runaway train I’m in a fast car drivin’ in a fast lane In the rain and I’m might just hydroplaine
I don’t fear none of my enemies
And I don’t fear bullets from Uzi’s
I’ve been dealing with something thats worse than these
That’ll make you fall to your knees and thats the The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry Paranoias brought me to my knees Lord please please please Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
My head keeps running away my brother
The only thing making me stay my brother
But I won’t give into it bro (no, no, no) Gotta get myself back now God, I can’t let my mind be Tell my enemy is my own Gots to find my inner wealth Gots to hold up my thoughts
I can’t get caught (no, no, no)
I can’t give into it now (no, no, no)
Emotions are trapped set on lock
Got my brain stuck goin through the motions Only I know what’s up I’m filled up with pain Tryin’ to gain my sanity
Everywhere I turn its a dead end infront of me With nowhere to go gotta shake this anxiety Got me feelin’ strange paranoia took over me And its weighin’ me down And I can’t run any longer, yo Knees to the ground
I don’t fear none of my enemies
And I don’t fear bullets from Uzi’s
I’ve been dealing with something thats worse than these
That’ll make you fall to your knees and thats the
The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please please please
Take away my anxiety
That song has been on repeat for the better part of ten years in my life. As I’m typing this much like most of these tell-all posts I don’t know where to start. So I guess it’s just best to be out with it right??
I am a woman who suffers from SEVERE anxiety.
I know to some it seems like so what? We all get anxious. We all let our nerves get the best of us from time to time. That is true. But in a world of someone who suffers from anxiety its never that simple. Its never as easy as just breath and relax. LORD I HATE THAT WORD!
I hate it because I hear it so often. I hate it because a lot of the time I’m incapable of doing it when I’m trapped in a world of angst beyond my control.
When my anxiety hits me its like I’m on a roller coaster at its highest peak ready to enjoy the free fall of the ride but I get stuck at the top. Stuck there to just suffer with the fear that I might fall, but I might also stay there in the in-between. It’s a feeling like no other and it sucks.
Outwardly I’m a woman who has it all together. I have an amazing job, an incredible healthy baby boy, and the best friends any human being could ask for. I sit in front of a microphone everyday that reaches more than 2 million people and I don’t bat and eyelash. I can step in front of celebs and strut in my stilettos in arena stages full of thousands of people and feel at home. But when the lights dim and the mics turn off….that inner asshole called anxiety bites me in the ass. Doing what I do for a living almost makes me feel worse about it sometimes. It’s like I don’t understand how I can be so poised in situations where the average person would be shitting their pants, but for me the simplest of things can send me into a tailspin.
The last five months have been filled with so many changes that my anxiety is at an all time high. Those that know me are aware of those changes but I really don’t wish to go into them at this time. Sorry to be cryptic but this just isn’t the post for all that….
I got to thinking today about the patterns of my life and just how long I’ve been dealing with anxiety and never really realized it. I think its because until now i always had a scapegoat to deal…
In my teens I did drugs.
In my early twenties i went to the club and drank the nights away.
In my last twenties I let the docs prescribe and medication that would help (NEVER doing that again)
And now as a mommy…. I don’t have those fall backs. I won’t fall into those unhealthy crutches. My baby boy means to much. And in so many ways I’m all he has.
Normally I have some witty or inspiration thing to say…but today…I’m just kinda spent. And I really have to give myself a break and be ok with that. The one thing I will say is this…if you suffer from anxiety I want to send you a virtual hug.
Yes I am aware of the fact that I just quoted a Justin Bieber song as the title of my blog. And as much as that song has a different message than what I’m about to write, that title just speaks to me…kinda makes me chuckle but it does.
Been doing a shit ton of self reflection in the past few weeks. Having a tiny human that you have to raise into a decent man will do that to ya. And if I’m honest it’s not just that. Sometimes there are certain occurrences in life that slap a mirror in from of your face that make you question what you did wrong, how you can grow, and whether or not its even worth another thought.
I was talking to my girlfriend today and she says that she goes through this once every few months which made me breath a sigh of relief that I’m not just nuts. I mean maybe I am a little loony but hey who isn’t?
So back to the Bieber title. “You should go and love yourself…” Man this one hits at the heartstrings for me. Self love is the hardest kind of love for me. As much as I can come across as a confident head strong woman who has her shit together, I’m often a scatter brained shell of the person I portray. Perhaps that’s extreme to say that because when I look in the mirror it’s kinda half and half. Jeckle and Hyde if you will. When I take a gander at my own reflection one person is successful, driven, proud and strong. The other is scared shitless, overwhelmed and insecure.
Lawdy I sound like a textbook multiple personality case. Perhaps its a hazard of the trade. One part radio personality and one part just plain ole me. I mean not that I’m not as real as humanly possible on air, but I feel like for the most part it’s my job and responsibility to make people smile and not boggle them down with my emotional crap.
Geez I have writer’s ADD!
Back to the loving yourself stuff…see I have such a hard time with the concept that it’s difficult to even write about it. My fingers are pausing at the moment trying to find the right words to say. This concept is so foreign to me. SELF LOVE. You see self love is not vanity. At least not in the way that I want to learn it. I’ve had more than my fair share of times of vanity in life and that gets old really quick.
In the past few weeks I’ve realized the self love that I want to have. The self love I want to teach my son. I’ve got a few self love goals that if your so inclined I’ll break down for you.
1.) Respect yourself. This for me means not over reacting in situations beyond my control and letting my emotions get the best of me. I have in the past embarrassed myself this way. (Can someone please create at control alt delete button for life?) Tomorrow is another day and everything happens just the way it should.
2.) Respect others. Remember that people don’t always see things the way you do and your way is not always the right way. Not everyone knows your struggles so be patient when they are reacting to you.
3.) Create healthy boundaries. This one goes for you and others in your life. Decide for yourself how far you will let someone push you past the point of forgiveness and also pay attention to when you are pushing someone too far.
4.) Realize that you are worthy. You are worthy of it all. The fairy tale. That Cinderella moment where you find yourself. Whatever that moment is. Be it a job, a diamond ring, a baby….you ARE WORTHY OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!
Now if it sounds like I’m getting a bit preachy it’s only because I’m preaching to myself. This life is a process that now matter how old you are, how many kids you have, or how much life experience you have under your belt, life just keeps evolving.
Did any of this makes sense? LOL if not thanks for reading. Even if it does come across as mumbo-jumbo it feels good to “write it out”
