I don’t normally write an entire blog about something whiny but today I feel like it. So if your not in the mood, than click something else cuz I’m gonna.
Brutal and bitchy today, I know.
Fibromyalgia is kicking my ass today and its really pissing me off. Usually I can shake it off and amp up on caffeine of all sorts and get through it, but it’s just not happening today.
My fiance calls me a Tough Tinkerbell because I fight and refuse to give up. This is usually me in all things. Working out, my job, my relationships. Its ingrained in my to be determined…or stubborn. Probably stubborn is more the word I should use. Welp i feel like a broken doll today.
My body has officially said fuck you. Sigh. Yawn.
Speaking of my fiance…I miss him. He’s only three hours away and we see each other every weekend but like Billy Crystal said in ‘When Harry Met Sally’….”When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” I often get the strange look when I tell people were getting married in November and he doesn’t live here yet. Welp, he makes a lot of money where he is and has responsibilities. It is what it is. We have been through so much together so I know we can get through this. but today I’m tired and feeling selfish and want to hug him.
I think I need a year long nap.
I do realize that there is SO MUCH more pain going on in the world than my little wah-wah rant. But I’m not the bionic woman I try to pretend to be sometimes.
I’m just tired. Fibromyalgia with a splash of anxiety, sprinkled with insomnia is a mutha fucka.
I wanted to be a poet when I was little. Now I just write down the jargon in my head for fun.
NOT JUST FOR SUPERHEROS
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.
In all things in life this seems to be true.
The Pretty have a responsibility to be beautiful without being bitchy. For in the end that pretty girl’s spirit will someday sag from her sorrows of an unfulfilled life.
The Rich Man has a responsibility to give back with a generous heart, for character not money, is what builds real life rewards. One can die wrapped in a plush royal blanket with a gold coin in his pocket…but still with a chill on his heart.
The Famous have responsibility to hold dear the ones that loved them before the glitterati moments of flashing bulbs. It’s easy to lose oneself on a stage under the heat of the spotlight and waves of applause. But someday the way home will seem quieter, warmer, and lovelier.
The Sick have a responsibility to be strong and not become bitter. It’s possible that their ailments will leave behind a greater legacy leading the path to a shorter, yet grander life. Living 20 years of glory is better than 200 years of gloom.
The intelligent have a responsibility to not become self-righteous in their knowledge. Knowledge may be power but it doesn’t always mean you’re not stupid.
Is that not the sweetest thing you have ever read? Certainly gave me a cavity. My fiance, yes fiance, sent this to me last night and it made me cry. I really am not a fan of Valentines Day because I consider it a “Hallmark Holiday. However, I figured that since the day of over spending lovey dovey stuff is upon us what better a time than now to chit chat about something that’s been on my mind. If you follow any of my social media or my blog then you will understand what I’m about to write. I won’t go into a big spiel about what went wrong or how we put things back together, I will just simply say that somethings work themselves out with time. As it would seem my love and I happen to be one of those things. I used to believe in the concept of having a soul mate with my whole heart. I truly thought that there was that ONE perfect person that God plopped into my life and no matter what twisted road I had traveled, that he was the ONLY one I was meant to be with. Much to my own shock I don’t really buy into that idea anymore. Let me clarify. My faith is still very much there in that the fiance was placed into my life by GOD and that we were meant to share this life together. But now having loved, lost, and loved again…..I have a new philosophy when it comes to the people that God places in my path. I think that they are ALL there for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Just a little food for thought. And for whatit’s worth Happy V-Day 🙂
Home is truly where the heart is. Sorry that I have been MIA for the past couple of weeks, but I have been busy building a new chapter in my life and I’m so excited!!! Before I get into that let me do this the right way, and say farewell to the last chapter of my life in Memphis. The best word to describe the five years I spent in the land of Elvis would have to be bittersweet. Memphis really taught me a lot about the highs and lows of life. What truly matters, and what should just be chalked up to spilled milk. It seemed as though whenever I was truly in the slums and wishing I had never decided to move there something amazing would happen to me. Some listener would tell me how I made their day by doing what I do. I would find out that I’m going to LA for the Grammys and American Idol. Or I would just so happen to meet some of the most amazing people I have ever encountered and make them my lifelong friends. Memphis for me was always a “calm before the storm” type of experience. My time there was sprinkled with some pain, a little regret, a lot of love, and exciting times that I will never forget. Kind of like most major chapters in life I suppose. And not to mention I did get the greatest furry gift ever while in Memphis, my little P!nk Presley Couture. Dang I love my puppy girl!
Some people say once a Memphian always a Memphian. If you said this to me before I left there I would have scoffed at you!! But now that I am sitting in my brand new apartment in Nashville feeling so blessed…I realize that a huge part of this is true, even for me. So with that said…Thank you Memphis! You will always have a special place in my heart. So enough of the wah-wah talk. I suppose I should get back to what this blog is truly about…being a CHEAP DIVA. Well let me start with that Home Sweet Home door mat that you see above. I got that sucker at Ross for $6.99! Your probably wondering why I am so excited over a door mat, but seeing as how they run about $15.99 at Walmart you would be excited about that deal too. I mean who likes to spend money on something your going to wipe mud on? So is it just me or do you get the itch whenever you move you tend to toss the old and look for the new? Well that is exactly what I did with my knife set.
I’m not normally a chick that gets excited over cutlery but $30.00 for this stainless steal set makes me happy 🙂 I know I have posted about the deals I’ve scored on Yankee candles at Ross before, but I figured I would share this because its the holidays….
I cannot get over how yummy this limited addition holiday candle smells. I light it and five minutes later my whole apartment smells like Christmas! What’s even more yummy is that I payed ten bucks for something that usually costs $26.00.
OK. So I suppose I could end this post with something mushy, but for me new beginnings and the sentiment that goes along with them usually comes with a lot of boo-hooing ( which I have done plenty of). And we all know that equals…..WRINKLES. No thank you! So for now i’ll just end this one like I always do….
New York. What can I say about that city other than it is amazing. It is a city that is a symbol of power for the United States of America so when it is in peril it seems to effect us all in one way or another. I was visiting family there this past week for one of my aunt’s birthday. If I’m honest I know my family truly planned that trip to distract my mind from being depressed about the big day that was to go down on Saturday. My sister, my mom and I were all flying out but due to Hurricane Sandy our trip was almost called off. We anticipated either our flights being cancelled or sitting in traffic for who knows how many hours because of the gas shortage. Much to our surprise most everything ran smoothly. My Titi had an amazing birthday and I got to have some bonding time with my family. Now mind you bonding time with my crazy Puertorican family has its stresses but it was good to spend time with them. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the airport bar waiting for my flight to board that I realized how monumental this trip would be. I was reading my book and sipping a beer while feeling sorry for myself. Sorry that my dream wedding wasn’t happening, annoyed that I had to sit there for three hours waiting for my plane…blah blah blah right? Just when my self pity had reached its peak this man by the name of Keith came up and asked if the seat next to me was taken. I quickly moved my purse and told him to have a seat. But before he did he apologized for possibly being smelly because he hadn’t showered in seven days. Immediately it hit me like a ton of bricks that this man was effected by hurricane Sandy. He asked the bartender for a double vodka and water which I promptly said was on me. Of course Keith objected but I was having none of that. I got to talking to him and found out that he was military and had only just moved to New York. He went on to tell me that he, his mother and sister had lost everything. All of their possessions washed away in one fell swoop. But the worst of it all was that he lost his only companion…his dog. I’m ashamed to say that I cannot remember what he said her name was. The most gut wrenching part about losing his beloved pet is the way he found out she was gone. Apparently his landlord called him and callously said that his dog was floating in his back yard. This really put a knife in my heart as I cannot imagine how that would feel if I lost my little P!nkers in such a horrific way. He must have seen the sympathy in my face as he gave me a little reassuring smile but I could see the pain behind his eyes. I showed him pictures of Pink but not before I asked him if it was alright. Keith gushed over how cute she is and said that in a way it helped him to see the pictures. My heart swelled for this man who had nothing, and had been through so much but still seemed so gracious. The military had apparenlty given him some money but he had given it a lot of it away to others in New York that needed it. Keith was on his way to stay with some military buddies in Virginia with nothing going with him but a wounded heart and a backpack full of clothes that Fema had given him. He finished his drink and just as I was about to buy him another he politely declined and said that his flight was leaving in 20 minutes. I asked him if I could give him a hug and after a meaningful squeeze and a thank you for listening he was gone. I just sat there in amazement and guilt. I felt so awful that I was felling so sorry for myself when I am blessed with so very much. Then a miracle from God happened. Keith reappeared with a Hello Kitty wallet that he had purchased from the gift store. He told me that it was to remember him by, and that through all of his troubles I was the nicest person he had encountered. He gave me another hug and was on his way. I swear I could have broken down crying right there. All I did was buy him a drink and listen to him. And he was spending what little money he had on a gift for me!
I will cherish this forever. And if I ever have a daughter I will give it to her and tell her Keith’s story. GOD BLESS YOU KEITH. Wherever you are I pray that you have nothing but blessing in your life from here on out!
Omg!! I’m so frigging excited! I’m finally in the now with my phone! This is my first post using it so bare with me if it looks a little funky. The minute I got the phone I was on the hunt for a cute and cheap cover for it. I found this awesome Skull Candy one at TJMaxx for $7.99! Is it bad that I get a little bitter when I see those “Maxxinista” commercials? I’m always thinking “Grrrrr that should be me!!!” Anyhoo! Yay for my new IPhone!
How cute is this little calendar that my mother-in-law-to-be gave me for Christmas? It makes me happy to be able to look at a pretty new shoe everyday. But to be honest shoes are not what’s on my mind right now. Strange I know! It’s been a while since I’ve posted a “R!ley Random” and I have had a few things on my brain lately that I wanted to blog out. I know that 2012 is only 20 days in but already it feels like the start to a bumpy year. Well maybe I shouldn’t be that dramatic but I have had a few crappy weeks. It’s funny that even though Cheap Diva is my little space to just be me, as I’m typing this I’m criticizing myself in my head for whining. Everyone is entitled to their days though right? I really don’t want to go into detail about some of the crud that has happened but my patience has definitely been tested. I remember writing a blog about turning 30 and being in such a settled and happy place. Its not that I’m not happy with life per say….its just that I feel like I’ve back tracked on some personal progress. Kind of like when you dust all of the skeletons out of your closet only to find another bag of bones hiding in the corner. Little bit of a bummer. I know its sounds like I’m writing in sanscript right now but maybe this is my roundabout way of getting some do-do off my chest without sounding too emo. All in all I’m hoping that I can keep my chin up and focus on the good stuff that 2012 has to offer. After all….its my WEDDING YEAR! I’m smiling even bigger already 🙂
I’m getting the oil changed on Jasmine this morning (yes I named my mustang) and I figured what better a time for a bloggity-blog. If I’m honest I’m trying to drown out some of the conversations going on in here. Waiting rooms are perfect for people watching but I guess I’m not in the mood this morning. I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About my family and how much I miss them. A few of us are estranged right now and it really sucks. They say in times like these to just say your sorry and do whatever it takes to put things back together. I am a true believer in we are never promised tomorrow. Well the “I’m sorrys” have been said and have accomplished nothing. Its so crazy how many blessing have been tossed my way this year so I try not to dwell on the one thing that is missing. But that’s a difficult thing to do when that one things is one of your nearest and dearest. We went to the fiance’s sister’s house for Thanksgiving and it was nice. Good food and lots of rest. But after a few unanswered text I really was sad. Now I know your thinking, a text? You can’t pick up the phone and call? Trust me if I thought there was any way the phone would get answered I would have called. With a text I know they will at least read it. Amongst all of these sad feelings I have a true sense of peace in this time in my life which is a rarity in my world. Its really weird how those kinds of feelings can coincide. I have everything I have ever wanted and sometimes I feel a little like Charlotte from Sex and the City. She was so scarred that something bad was going to happen to her because everything in her life was as close to perfect as possible. Mmmmm. Maybe I just discovered a point there. Not that I will ever think of having problems with my family is a blessing, but God always gives us challenges. The way we handle it often times determines the future. Something about this waiting room has me all philosophical LOL. Ew! I do believe the guy next to me just farted. A little comic release I guess. I better not smell that one damnit. Anyhoo….enough deep thoughts for now.
That was me this time last year. The last birthday in my 20’s and let me say it was a good one. I was newly in love and feeling like a million bucks in that dress 🙂 This year has flown by within the blink of an eye and now here it is….an hour and a half before I turn the big 3-0. To be completely honest I thought I would be more upset or depressed about saying goodbye to the idea of being a twenty-something. I guess it feels like your allowed to make more mistakes when your young and the minute you drop that two from the front of your age its time to grow up and do everything right. But so much has changed for me in the past few years for the good, how could I not look to the future with excitement and hope. As I sit here and remember my early twenties I think of these two….
Good gawd I may not have made it to where I am if not for you two ladies. I can’t even begin to count the precious memories you have given me that no amount of time apart can take away.
Manda Manda, thank you for always being the strong one. Thank you for giving me the best of advice. You have always been the most beautiful person inside and out and if I never told you this before I admire your spirit…..always have. I think I have some wrinkles from the many times you have made me laugh 🙂 Kooossssiiiies!
Casey Weirdum, oh my wifey! Look how far we have come as friends. To think that at first glance you couldn’t stand me. LOL not that I blame you. Thank you for always telling me the truth even when I didn’t want to hear it. I have always said that you were the only person that could tell me to get my act together and have me not go “Hulk” style. You have never judged me for my mistakes and have ALWAYS been there for me! I cannot wait to see you as a mommy! There is a piece of my heart that has your name stitched on it.
Now my mind is drifting back to my baby days of radio. I never did say that high school was “The best Time of My Life” like everyone else did. My intern days at 933FLZ were the days that I consider to have shaped me into the woman I am today.
Haha! Thank gawd I haven’t changed too much since I was 23. That studo was such a special place to me! I learned my future love behind that board. RADIO! Papa Kane…you have NO IDEA what you gave me by being my mentor! This is also the place where I met another life long friend.
Chubbity, you have such a truly amazing heart! Its crazy to think how much you have accomplished since I met you! Your a hubby AND a Daddy now. All grown up! I have a little bit of catching up to do! Thank you for being there for me through a really tough time. I never thought I would see the light at the end of that tunnel. Miss you my fellow Rock!
When I look at this picture I was a so incredibly happy. I was in Michigan and experiencing freedom and responsibility for the first time. Scary thing for a little Florida girl to be in the snow and all alone.But I did it! WSNX was my first radio job and to say I was proud of myself would have been an understatement. I really can’t remember a time (until now) that I felt more free. That two years that I spent there will always be with me.
Leaving Florida for that job was no easy task because I had to leave my Mommy for the first time. I know I sound like a baby saying that but my mother is my heart! She has given me everything I have today! EVERYTHING!
Mommy….wow here come the tears. I hope you know that I NEVER forgot that hug on that snowy day in Michigan. I never forgot how much you pushed me throughout life to be the very best I could be. You have always been the perfect mix of mother and best friend. I miss you every hour of every day but when times get too hard without you I always remember…You are here in my heart every step of the way. Now one know me like you do and I know whenever there is something wrong…Mommy is there. Our bond is unbreakable! I am so incredibly blessed to have such a strong/beautiful/gracious/faithful/smart woman for my mother. God could not have put me in better hands. I was the one that was blessed at 10:30 am on September 7, 1981.
Ok I have to get it together! LOL I need tissues already! So I’ve so far only written about the old days but the days as of late have been so wonderful how could I leave them out. One of my newest friends has very quickly become destines to be one of my oldest.
Amanda, I think our meeting was one of the funniest I have ever had! Thank goodness your kids are such hams or we may have not had the friendship we have today. Well we probably would have but it just made it easier that they are so darn cute! You and Jorge have made me feel like I have a little family away from home. I sometimes don’t know how you juggle being a mom and friend and wife and not loose your mind. But you always do it with a smile. I love that about you. LOL someday when I have all of those titles I know I’ll be calling you for advice. You have helped me through some pretty rough times. You were right at my doorstep when you knew I needed a hug. Thank you! I’ll never forget it!
I of course can’t forget these two….. Ed and Stephanie!!
You guys freaking rock! You may be amongst some of my newest friends but I adore you two! As a couple and as individuals! I can’t think of too many people that have been more kind to me. I can’t wait to see what the future holds. LOL let’s just try and stay away from the lightning car rides though shall we?
Geez….I have been through so many changes in the last ten years. I think of some of the biggest moments and I get a little overwhelmed remembering my excitement. Like becoming an Aunt….
Man I miss these two. It’s crazy because the first time I found out that I was going to be an aunt I went numb. I realized that I wasn’t the baby of the family and it wasn’t all about me anymore. The first time I heard the word “Titi” still rings in my ears today. I love you Punkin’ Butt and Bud-Bud!
I also can’t forget that I got a puppy. This was good mother training if you ask me. Lots of poop cleanup came along with this little girl. But I wouldn’t take back one day of it.
P!nk Presley Couture. You licked the tears away from my face when I thought I was all alone in the world. For a long time it was just me and you puppy. I love you baby puppy girl.
I just looked at the clock a realized that I only have 35 minutes until midnight. But there is no way I could end this blog without mentioning the prince that gave me this beauty.
Baby….when I think of you my heart swells with love. The kind of love that I never imagined I could feel let alone keep forever. To me love has always been the most important thing because without love what’s the point? I know God placed you in my path at the perfect time because he knew I was giving up on my dream of happily ever after. Then five days later those three little words came out of your mouth and you had my heart for always. We certainly have had our bumps but none of that matters now because we have our future to look forward to. The day you asked me to marry you has been the most important of my life. Well, that is until November 10, 2012. I cannot wait to be your wife! Your my sunshine in the morning when I don’t want to get up. Your my best friend and my partner. You are MY EVERYTHING. I love you!
Fifteen more minutes until 30! I am so blessed and happy to have my life. I have learned that not everyday is all rainbows and roses but through every rainstorm there are always blue clouds! Haha as long as it doesn’t include too many wrinkles I can’t wait to see what the next ten years has in store!
